The Power of Emotional Reflection: Helping Kids Express Their Feelings
As parents, caregivers, and educators, one of the most valuable skills we can teach children is how to identify, understand, and express their emotions. Emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize and manage our own feelings while also understanding those of others—begins developing in early childhood and has a profound impact on a child’s well-being, relationships, and future success.
But here’s the challenge: Talking about emotions can be tough, even for adults! Many of us weren’t raised in environments where feelings were openly discussed, making it difficult to guide children through their emotional experiences. That’s why practicing emotional reflection as a family is so important—it normalizes emotions of all kinds and builds a strong foundation for emotional regulation and resilience.
In this post, we’ll explore:
What emotional intelligence is and why it matters
How emotional reflection supports emotional growth
Practical strategies to incorporate emotional reflection into daily life
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and others. It includes five key components:
Self-Awareness – Recognizing and understanding your own emotions.
Self-Regulation – Managing emotions in healthy ways, including controlling impulses and adapting to change.
Motivation – Using emotions to drive positive actions and achieve goals.
Empathy – Recognizing and understanding the emotions of others.
Social Skills – Managing relationships, communicating effectively, and resolving conflicts.
Developing emotional intelligence starts in infancy and continues throughout childhood and adolescence. Babies express emotions through crying, cooing, and body language, while toddlers begin to develop a vocabulary for their feelings. By preschool age, children can start identifying emotions in themselves and others, but they still need support in processing and expressing these feelings appropriately.
Why Emotional Reflection Matters
Emotional reflection—the practice of recognizing and discussing feelings—is a crucial part of emotional intelligence development. It helps children:
Build self-awareness by labeling their emotions.
Develop coping strategies for managing strong feelings.
Strengthen communication skills by articulating their experiences.
Improve problem-solving skills and decision-making.
Foster deeper connections with caregivers and peers.
When families prioritize emotional reflection, they create a safe environment where children feel comfortable sharing both positive and challenging emotions.
Simple Ways to Practice Emotional Reflection as a Family
Making emotional reflection a natural part of daily life doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are three simple strategies to get started:
1. Start Small: Reflect on Everyday Moments
Rather than waiting for big emotions to arise, begin practicing emotional reflection with small, low-pressure moments throughout the day. For example:
“How did your breakfast make you feel?”
“You look so happy when you dance in the kitchen!”
“That movie had a really exciting ending! What did you think?”
By reflecting on minor experiences, children become more comfortable recognizing and expressing their emotions. This lowers the pressure to talk about big feelings when they arise, making difficult conversations easier over time.
2. Offer Multiple Ways to Express Emotions
Not all children are comfortable verbalizing their feelings. Offering different ways to express emotions can make reflection more accessible and engaging:
Use colors: The Zones of Regulation framework assigns colors to emotions (e.g., blue for sad, green for calm, yellow for anxious, red for angry). Ask your child, “What color do you feel like today?”
Draw or write: Provide a feelings journal or encourage kids to draw how they feel.
Use emojis: Some children prefer using digital communication. Allow them to text or type how they’re feeling if speaking feels too vulnerable.
Providing multiple options ensures children find a method that feels comfortable for them, reducing the pressure to share emotions in a way that feels unnatural.
3. Model Emotional Expression as an Adult
Children learn most by watching the adults in their lives. Reflect on how you express your own emotions—do you openly discuss your feelings, or do you tend to suppress them?
If emotional expression is something you’re still working on, that’s okay! Be open with your child about your own growth:
“I’m feeling a little overwhelmed today, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths to help me feel calm.”
“I was frustrated earlier, but talking about it helped me feel better.”
By modeling healthy emotional expression, you show your child that feelings are normal and manageable. If you’re not happy with how you’ve been expressing emotions, remember that it’s never too late to make a change—your child will learn from the adjustments you make, too.
The Impact of Emotional Reflection on Child Development
Research shows that children who develop strong emotional intelligence have better academic outcomes, healthier relationships, and improved mental health. They are more likely to:
Navigate social situations with confidence.
Show empathy toward others.
Cope with stress in healthy ways.
Communicate their needs effectively.
On the other hand, children who struggle with emotional regulation may have difficulty managing frustration, experience frequent outbursts, or withdraw from social interactions. That’s why creating a home environment where emotions are acknowledged and discussed openly is so important.
Final Thoughts
Helping children develop emotional intelligence is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. By normalizing emotional reflection and providing multiple ways to express feelings, we create a foundation for lifelong emotional well-being.
Remember:
Start with small, everyday reflections.
Offer different ways to express emotions.
Model healthy emotional expression yourself.
With time and practice, your child will grow more confident in recognizing and sharing their feelings. And as always, if you have any questions or want to share your experiences, I’d love to hear from you!
Prefer to watch instead of reading? Check out the same discussion on our YouTube channel Tea with the OT!
Becca Mattie, OTR/L
Tea with the OT | Honeybee OT
